Has this what TV has come to then? Throwing a group of clashing personalities together and hoping for fireworks, that’s far too much work: what we need is “real people in modified situations, saying unscripted lines but in a structured way,” like The Only Way Is Essex.

No, that’s not it. You need someone to organize a vague narrative for that*. How about we just find a group of vain people with a massively inflated sense of self-worth but little or no intelligence, and tell them we’ll put them on TV. Now the producers don’t even have to do anything, and people will watch because they love laughing/getting angry at idiots.

Even better, these people will then become minor celebrities and part of popular culture, and despite having a working brain and countless millions of options available to them, a small selection of children will aspire to be like these people**, spawning the next generation of reality TV.

Of course, by that point reality TV will probably consist of people painting their arse blue and running naked through public areas shouting the name of the show in question. I can barely wait.

* Probably. I’ve never watched it, and I have no intention of ever watching it.

** I still remember the first time I heard a child on TV say that Jordan was their role model. I’m lucky really, not many people can pinpoint the exact moment they lost faith in the entire human race.

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